|Posted by Julie on February 25, 2009 at 3:53 PM|
This is still a journey for me. Letting go of the power and control. My mother had always told me that parents always need to win the battles, as though we are to be at war with our children. I still hear this sometimes.
A friend asked me today about our choice to unschool. What if they didn't want to learn? What if they chose never to pursue 'reading, writing and arithmetic'? One of my children is very bookish and seems to have a real love of learning new things and figuring things out. The other is very active and abit of a "wild-child". What if she is never interested these things our society dictates we must learn? My family asks what if I can't get them to "behave" without punishment? How do I expect to make them do as I say?
My job as their mother is to protect and nourish them. To provide them with an environment that lets them express their individuality and creativity. Their passions and desires. Their thirsts for whatever it is that drives them. And, to be the most complete and whole person that I can be, for I have observed that their best learning tool is the examples set forth from the people around them.
My job is not to dictate to them what they "should" be doing. Not to make them want and value the things I want and value. Not to bend them to my will. Not to make them learn what I think they should learn.
I do struggle to remember that they are not mine to control. Fortunately, it is never too late to stop, breathe, rewind and let go.